Friday, January 25, 2013
Fun thing to do
A fun thing to do is when you're in an elevator, and there's another person in there with you, if they get off first, right as the doors are leaving you start to say "hey wait you dropped....." but you time it so that the last thing they hear before the doors close is "dropped". Then you get off on your floor and they spend the rest of their day thinking OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL DID I LOSE?!?!
Friday, October 26, 2012
A POEM ON "HAPPINESS"
Sometimes I wonder
If this is all a "dream"
because it must be a "dream"
because i am so happy about
everything
I look at the sky that is blue
and my plant-daughters
I watch "Geraldo Television Show"
yes it is all "fine and dandy"
What have i done to derserve this?
I must have good "karma"
maybe i was Ghandi in my last lifetime?
yes i believe i was
or maybe I was also Jesus in previous lives?
probably so :)
Happiness grows
inside me
and it will grow even more
if i get to see Neil Young next month!
i hope he plays
"Cinamon Girl"
I also hope my bank representative calls me back about that outstanding check that was supposed to go through and then they tell me there was "processing problem" but i dont think so becuause i asked the ebay purchaser if he had money he said "yes" so I really would like my money deposited because "rent" is due and also i really want to buy "Mad About You Seasons 1-2 Box Set DVD Nice L@@K".
I am current high bidder.
$74.69
My heart is a "river"
and my "blood" is water
and my "cholesterol" is "rocks in the riverbed
and my arms are "trees on the shore
I dont know what this "means"
but it is nice?
Maybe it's that i am like nature
and I am part of "nature"
I eat "organic"
Mott's Apple Sauce
Happyness is all around me today
and i thank "god" for it
when i talk to "aliens"
:)
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
THE PACIFIC OCEAN, NATURE'S "BONG"
My gentle reader, I missed you and am "sorry" that I did not write "a long time". You are always in my "dreams" and I think always "Hmm i wonder what (your name) is doing right now??" Maybe you are out playing "frisbee"with your friends or maybe you, as well, are "communing with the Green Kingdom of beyond"** Eitherway, i know that you are "there" and you are happy with yourself and you are thinking "I wonder what Randy is doing??"
You wonder "what have I been doing?" Ok I will tell you today of a "discovery" I have made and want to "actualize". It's "far out" so i hope you "lend my your ears" because i think it is important for all the world and all our well being also.
Ok I think the "Pacific Ocean" was put there by "God" to be a giant "Bong" for humanity. Let me "explain" before you say "BUT RANDY LOL THE OCEAN IS TO BIG TO SMOKE LOL". I have "thought" about it and can tell you wow ok yes it is big but I took "online course" called "Hemp Engineering in the Aquarian Age" and have "certificate also and it's on my "wall" ok? I will "guide you" through my "reasoning" step by step so you "understand" and then you will see. I use "Socratic Method" to explain, look:
1. The Pacific Ocean is big and full of water.
2. Bongs are full of water
3. You smoke "weed" out of bongs
4. Weed was put there by "god" to make humanity reach "higher plane" of consciousness
5. The bigger a bong, the more successful "god's mission" to get us all "to higher plane"
"Socratic Conclusion": We use the Pacific Ocean as the world's "bong"
Ok so you agree with my "Socratic Dialogue" and now you udnerstand logic? Now I go into "details".
OK. So you know how a house has "central air"? It means that there is one place that "generates" all the hot/cold and then it gets "carried" to all the rooms in the house by long ducts. Ok so we do that with the Pacific Ocean. The "United Nations" set up a very big "weed burning plant" in the middle on one of "Hawaiian Islands". Then the islands get converted to ONLY growing maryjuana. Everyone gets "evacuated" no one lives there, it is only for growing the magical fairy weed ok? So then all the "harvested" material gets burned in the giant burning plant. THEN, from there, with the help of "mechanical engineering" and "NASA", we have very long "ducts" built that lead to each "continent". Think of each "continent" like a "room" in a house. So the ducts go "underwater" to "South America" and "Asia" and "Europe" and "Australia" and "russia" and "United States" and "Africa" and then they let out the "spiritual smoke" of the "maryjuana". Do you follow?
It doesn't end there. When the very big ducts get to each "continent", they are "branched" out into "smaller ducts" that go to each "city in the "continent". And then "branched out" again so that every "street corner" has an "output vent" so the "maryjuana smoke" comes out. Ok so it would be like this: (PLEASE CLICK "IMAGE" TO MAKE MORE BIGGER)
Do you understand? So then every street corner on every "city" has vents from the giant bong in the "Pacific Ocean" and then you are walking down the street in "Shangai" or "helsinki" and say "Wow I need to enhance my spirit" and right there there is a vent from the ducts and you breathe in and everything is "ok" again. It's very "simple"
I think our "engineers" that work on the "Hardon Collider" can easily acomplish this. The "Pacific Ocean" is big. It's full of "water". "Hawaii" can grow all the "maryjuana" necessary ok? Then we put it in the big "burner" and then "suction machines" on each continent can "draw the smoke" required for its "population" and the smoke goes there and then it works. Our biggest "natural resource" finally put to "good use".
Can you imagine our "world" like this my "fellow compadres"? Where everyone is "loving" and the "Green Princess" is free for "everyone"? I can and i "like" this idea. I would like to start "facebook page" for this idea so people can show they "like" it and then we can show "Precedent Obaman" and he can say "ok the world people like this and Me that I am "Precedent" now i Make it a "reality"". Then "world peace" comes. And also I think "New Zealand" should be turned into island that makes "Ben and Jerrys" for all the world so we don't "run out" because I read book about how food can end "someday". Please think about this and "like" it on facebook :)
You wonder "what have I been doing?" Ok I will tell you today of a "discovery" I have made and want to "actualize". It's "far out" so i hope you "lend my your ears" because i think it is important for all the world and all our well being also.
Ok I think the "Pacific Ocean" was put there by "God" to be a giant "Bong" for humanity. Let me "explain" before you say "BUT RANDY LOL THE OCEAN IS TO BIG TO SMOKE LOL". I have "thought" about it and can tell you wow ok yes it is big but I took "online course" called "Hemp Engineering in the Aquarian Age" and have "certificate also and it's on my "wall" ok? I will "guide you" through my "reasoning" step by step so you "understand" and then you will see. I use "Socratic Method" to explain, look:
1. The Pacific Ocean is big and full of water.
2. Bongs are full of water
3. You smoke "weed" out of bongs
4. Weed was put there by "god" to make humanity reach "higher plane" of consciousness
5. The bigger a bong, the more successful "god's mission" to get us all "to higher plane"
"Socratic Conclusion": We use the Pacific Ocean as the world's "bong"
Ok so you agree with my "Socratic Dialogue" and now you udnerstand logic? Now I go into "details".
OK. So you know how a house has "central air"? It means that there is one place that "generates" all the hot/cold and then it gets "carried" to all the rooms in the house by long ducts. Ok so we do that with the Pacific Ocean. The "United Nations" set up a very big "weed burning plant" in the middle on one of "Hawaiian Islands". Then the islands get converted to ONLY growing maryjuana. Everyone gets "evacuated" no one lives there, it is only for growing the magical fairy weed ok? So then all the "harvested" material gets burned in the giant burning plant. THEN, from there, with the help of "mechanical engineering" and "NASA", we have very long "ducts" built that lead to each "continent". Think of each "continent" like a "room" in a house. So the ducts go "underwater" to "South America" and "Asia" and "Europe" and "Australia" and "russia" and "United States" and "Africa" and then they let out the "spiritual smoke" of the "maryjuana". Do you follow?
It doesn't end there. When the very big ducts get to each "continent", they are "branched" out into "smaller ducts" that go to each "city in the "continent". And then "branched out" again so that every "street corner" has an "output vent" so the "maryjuana smoke" comes out. Ok so it would be like this: (PLEASE CLICK "IMAGE" TO MAKE MORE BIGGER)
Do you understand? So then every street corner on every "city" has vents from the giant bong in the "Pacific Ocean" and then you are walking down the street in "Shangai" or "helsinki" and say "Wow I need to enhance my spirit" and right there there is a vent from the ducts and you breathe in and everything is "ok" again. It's very "simple"
I think our "engineers" that work on the "Hardon Collider" can easily acomplish this. The "Pacific Ocean" is big. It's full of "water". "Hawaii" can grow all the "maryjuana" necessary ok? Then we put it in the big "burner" and then "suction machines" on each continent can "draw the smoke" required for its "population" and the smoke goes there and then it works. Our biggest "natural resource" finally put to "good use".
Can you imagine our "world" like this my "fellow compadres"? Where everyone is "loving" and the "Green Princess" is free for "everyone"? I can and i "like" this idea. I would like to start "facebook page" for this idea so people can show they "like" it and then we can show "Precedent Obaman" and he can say "ok the world people like this and Me that I am "Precedent" now i Make it a "reality"". Then "world peace" comes. And also I think "New Zealand" should be turned into island that makes "Ben and Jerrys" for all the world so we don't "run out" because I read book about how food can end "someday". Please think about this and "like" it on facebook :)
Monday, May 21, 2012
NO MORE "WORLD PROBLEMS"
OK "everyone" says "Randy U R so selfish U only write "blog posts" about urself and how people can become "self actualized" what about the world around us and helping the "whole" mankind???" .
Wow ok I don't see why people get so "bent out of shape" about this kind of "stuff". I mean, have you ever seen the "bumper sticker" "RELAX, GOD IS IN CONTROL"? Ok then what is the big fuss? Do you think God will let things go "bad"? No, he loves us and everything will go fine. Also, for the "millionth" time, people, we are no longer in the "DAWNING" of the "age of aquarius"... we are in the MIDST of the "age of aquarius" so things are groovy and it's pretty much on "autopilot". Stop worriying! Put your "feet up" and enjoy the ride ok?
But for those of you that have "issues" with the world and it's "problems" i show you how to solve them. I think aliens will come down and take over and implement these plans after 2012 or maybe Obama will do it in "second term". It's all in "God's Plan" either way so it will happen "dont worry". This is what will happen:
1.No more "manufacturing". Ok we have all the "stuff" we need by this point ok? I don't think there is a need to make more "spatulas" or "cars" or "medicine" anymore. Look at how many things you find at "thrift stores" in "perfect working order". We have produced literally "ALL" the products we'll ever need for as long as humanity populates the "earth". Look at how many "Moody Blues" records are in "dollar bins". Why print more? Look at how many "TVs" on the streeet. That's it. Stop making them ok? This applies also to "intellectual property" like music and "sitcoms". "Seinfeld" on DVD is all you need. Why make new shows like "30 Rocks" and "Angry Birds"? Enough is enough ok?? Just be happy with what you have and stop making new stuff.
2. End all wars. A "big problem" in "world" right now is "wars". I suggest we "end them all" and "bring are boys back home" that way those are not "problems" anymore.
3. One language. Everyone let's learn the same language and "stick to it" ok? I learned Esperanto, why doesn't everyone else?? It was invented for that reason exactly i don't see the "problem" there. Are people lazy and don't want to "comunicate" and "get along"?
4. No more "energy". Ok other problem is "pollution". It kills "mother earth" and makes it all "Grey". So no more "power plants" except "solar" and "wind" and no more things that pollute like cars, etc. Who likes sitting in "trafic" anyway? And why do people wnat to "go places" all the time??? I can go weeks without "leaving" my house and I am happy as a "clam".
5. No more Paper Towels and Stuff- Look, use a "rag" or a "washcloth" and then wash it ok?
6. No more "to go food"- Wow, listen you are living "the WRONG WAY" if you take food "to go". Just sit and "enjoy" the place and food. "to go" boxes and cups amount to 90% of total "waste" in America I read on the "internet" today. NINETY PERCENT! All those "starbuck" cups and "Mcdonalds" burger containers. Restaurants please just use "regular" plates and cups and wash them is that so hard???
7. No more "medicine". Medicine is "ridiculous". We aren't "meant" to live forever ok?? God tells you "hello you have to come home to my "kingdom" now", and you are "supposed" to go. Enough of this trying to live forever. You are sick? Well let's see if it goes away or not. You are dying? Big deal? Have you ever "heard" of the "afterlife" and "reincarnation"? Fearing death is like being afraid of "commercial breaks". They ALWAYS END and then "television show" starts back up again!!!
8. No more animals. Other big problem is how we "eat animals" and then "vegetarians" get mad. Ok as long as there are "animals" we will eat them because they're there. So "only way" to stop people from eating animals is "make sure" there aren't any to "eat". So we let everyone eat all the "cows" and "dogs" and "pigs" and stuff and then what are they going to do? Surprise, you are now "vegetarian". Haha. And then everyone is "vegetarian" and everyone is "happy"
9. No more violence. Everyone is concerned about "violence" like "gangs" and "riots" and "soccer matches". Ok how about not having "violence" anymore also? This way, there is no more "violence" and there is more "peace". I just thought of "Peace Frog" by "the Doors" LOL now i want to hear it also (smiley face)
10. No more "money". Poverty is another big "problem" to "some people". Ok so there are realy "rich" and realy "poor" people. It seems to me like the source of "poverty" is "money". when someone has alot they are "rich" and if they have little they are "poor". Ok so no more money that way who is rich and Poor? I don't know?!?
11. "Geraldo" goes on at 11:00 again. This is big problem for "humanity". Geraldo use to come on at 11 and that way people could watch "Price is right" and then switch to "geraldo". Now they have to pick "one or the other" because BOTh go on at "10:00" . WHO THOUGHT OF THIS?????? So please now it should be like this: 10 o "clock" is Price is "right" .then 11 starts "Geraldo" please. Thank you.
12. No more "world problems" now we are "all done"
Those are all "problems" in world right now. So when these things happen, we are all "free" again to focus on "are selves" and attain "buddah" spirit. Also there can be no more "countries" and "governments" and "rules". Tomorrow I explain how to turn "Pacific Ocean" into giant "sustainable Earth-bong" .
Wow ok I don't see why people get so "bent out of shape" about this kind of "stuff". I mean, have you ever seen the "bumper sticker" "RELAX, GOD IS IN CONTROL"? Ok then what is the big fuss? Do you think God will let things go "bad"? No, he loves us and everything will go fine. Also, for the "millionth" time, people, we are no longer in the "DAWNING" of the "age of aquarius"... we are in the MIDST of the "age of aquarius" so things are groovy and it's pretty much on "autopilot". Stop worriying! Put your "feet up" and enjoy the ride ok?
But for those of you that have "issues" with the world and it's "problems" i show you how to solve them. I think aliens will come down and take over and implement these plans after 2012 or maybe Obama will do it in "second term". It's all in "God's Plan" either way so it will happen "dont worry". This is what will happen:
1.No more "manufacturing". Ok we have all the "stuff" we need by this point ok? I don't think there is a need to make more "spatulas" or "cars" or "medicine" anymore. Look at how many things you find at "thrift stores" in "perfect working order". We have produced literally "ALL" the products we'll ever need for as long as humanity populates the "earth". Look at how many "Moody Blues" records are in "dollar bins". Why print more? Look at how many "TVs" on the streeet. That's it. Stop making them ok? This applies also to "intellectual property" like music and "sitcoms". "Seinfeld" on DVD is all you need. Why make new shows like "30 Rocks" and "Angry Birds"? Enough is enough ok?? Just be happy with what you have and stop making new stuff.
2. End all wars. A "big problem" in "world" right now is "wars". I suggest we "end them all" and "bring are boys back home" that way those are not "problems" anymore.
3. One language. Everyone let's learn the same language and "stick to it" ok? I learned Esperanto, why doesn't everyone else?? It was invented for that reason exactly i don't see the "problem" there. Are people lazy and don't want to "comunicate" and "get along"?
4. No more "energy". Ok other problem is "pollution". It kills "mother earth" and makes it all "Grey". So no more "power plants" except "solar" and "wind" and no more things that pollute like cars, etc. Who likes sitting in "trafic" anyway? And why do people wnat to "go places" all the time??? I can go weeks without "leaving" my house and I am happy as a "clam".
5. No more Paper Towels and Stuff- Look, use a "rag" or a "washcloth" and then wash it ok?
6. No more "to go food"- Wow, listen you are living "the WRONG WAY" if you take food "to go". Just sit and "enjoy" the place and food. "to go" boxes and cups amount to 90% of total "waste" in America I read on the "internet" today. NINETY PERCENT! All those "starbuck" cups and "Mcdonalds" burger containers. Restaurants please just use "regular" plates and cups and wash them is that so hard???
7. No more "medicine". Medicine is "ridiculous". We aren't "meant" to live forever ok?? God tells you "hello you have to come home to my "kingdom" now", and you are "supposed" to go. Enough of this trying to live forever. You are sick? Well let's see if it goes away or not. You are dying? Big deal? Have you ever "heard" of the "afterlife" and "reincarnation"? Fearing death is like being afraid of "commercial breaks". They ALWAYS END and then "television show" starts back up again!!!
8. No more animals. Other big problem is how we "eat animals" and then "vegetarians" get mad. Ok as long as there are "animals" we will eat them because they're there. So "only way" to stop people from eating animals is "make sure" there aren't any to "eat". So we let everyone eat all the "cows" and "dogs" and "pigs" and stuff and then what are they going to do? Surprise, you are now "vegetarian". Haha. And then everyone is "vegetarian" and everyone is "happy"
9. No more violence. Everyone is concerned about "violence" like "gangs" and "riots" and "soccer matches". Ok how about not having "violence" anymore also? This way, there is no more "violence" and there is more "peace". I just thought of "Peace Frog" by "the Doors" LOL now i want to hear it also (smiley face)
10. No more "money". Poverty is another big "problem" to "some people". Ok so there are realy "rich" and realy "poor" people. It seems to me like the source of "poverty" is "money". when someone has alot they are "rich" and if they have little they are "poor". Ok so no more money that way who is rich and Poor? I don't know?!?
11. "Geraldo" goes on at 11:00 again. This is big problem for "humanity". Geraldo use to come on at 11 and that way people could watch "Price is right" and then switch to "geraldo". Now they have to pick "one or the other" because BOTh go on at "10:00" . WHO THOUGHT OF THIS?????? So please now it should be like this: 10 o "clock" is Price is "right" .then 11 starts "Geraldo" please. Thank you.
12. No more "world problems" now we are "all done"
Those are all "problems" in world right now. So when these things happen, we are all "free" again to focus on "are selves" and attain "buddah" spirit. Also there can be no more "countries" and "governments" and "rules". Tomorrow I explain how to turn "Pacific Ocean" into giant "sustainable Earth-bong" .
Friday, May 18, 2012
POSITIVE "PRESPECTIVITY"
You, sweet reader of my "blog" are a kind sensitive "soul" and I think about youre "well being" always. Today i want to tell you of the "Power of Positive Thinking". Ok you say "randy what are you talking about LOL i am always "positive"". Well after taking my latest "online course" I have learnt that "positive thinking" extends to "all areas of your life" and is a lot more "deep" than you think.
For "example" a long time ago I was "depressive" person and my "self esteem" was low because I didn't understand how to look at "bright side" of my life. This was before I discovered "LSD", "Frank Zappa", and also "Geraldo Television Show" which all changed "my life". This is how "long time ago Randy" would have thought about his "life":
"Wow my name is Randy and I hate myself. I am in my 50s and all I do is "sit on the couch and watch TV" all day. Wow why don't i do anything with my life like "get a job" and be "productive". I should cut my hair and "shave" I look like a "bum". Why am I not a "responsible" parent and let my kids grow up like "normal" instead of keeping them planted up to their waist in "soil" trying to make them grow into plant-humans? What is wrong with me, "waaahh", I am so lonely because my "wife" "divorced" me because I just get "stoned" and watch "TV". Wow maybe I should read "real" science books instead of "new age" webistes on "geocities" and believing anything that i "read". Wow I am really a failure. Why am I so "obsessed" with "Geraldo" isn't he sort of a "tool"? What's my "problem", maybe I should wear shirts that "button" and "tuck in" and go to real "college" insted of "onlinecoursescheap.com". Wow my life is really sad and "meaningless" and i'll never get out of this "dark hole" until I change "my self". Wow maybe I should have tried to "save my marriage" instead of following "grateful dead" on 8 consecutive tours and leaving my "wife" and "children" at home. Wow why do I only listen to "Terrapin Station" on repeat instead of "discovering" new music? Wow I am in denial about "everything" and I drown my sorrows with "green princess" and "Budweiser" and I can't stand to be "sober" with myself because my "soul" is like a "prison-cage" that I am "trapped in" until i "die" alone.
WOW. WHAT A "NEGATIVE NELLY". That is how "i was" a long time ago. Do you like how I was dear "reader" ??? I don't. I always thought like that and got myself "down" for "no reason". Why did I do that??? I will show you now how "happy" i am with the "power of positive thinking" and that life can be "good". It's all a matter of "prespectivity" Look:
"Wow my name is Randy and my life is "fantastical and I love myself and everyone "so much" . I have the "blessing" of getting up every "morning" and I see the sun and i smile at "it". Then i see "myself" in the mirror and love my beautiful long hair and beard and know that really those are "magic tentacles" that collect energy from my environment and deposit it into my body. I have such a "rich" life. I learn so much from "Geraldo Show" every day and am blessed with "unemployment checks" from friendly "taxpayers" that like me and want me to live "free". I am such a good "parent" because I make my children grow "right" into plants that don't consume "food" and "energy" and don't "pollute" and are so noble. I am so smart also because i have over "50 certificates" from schools online and I know three "galactic languages" and also "Esperanto language". People like me and i have such a "BIG ROLE" in society because i write this "blog" and i help SO MANY PEOPLE to LIVE RIGHT and I am a sort of "christ figure" for doing so. When i "die" and meet Jesus-Buddah they will probably say "thank you for your "service" on "earth" you now live eternally "with us" as "third godhead" of the cosmos> I say "ok I love you". Also I do not recall ever having a "wife" that must be a "figment" of imagination. And i do not regret following "grateful dead" for 8 consecutive tours because that was "fun" and one time Phil Lesh gave me "high five" backstage. Also I am not gullible and everything I belive makes "sense" and is grounded in "facts" because I learn them on "online courses" so they have to be true and also "terrapin station" is great album and i dont have to listen to new things if i dont want to. Also my "children" are happy and love me"
OK WOW SEE THE DIFFERENCE? What I am doing "now" is focusing on what is "good" in life wich is "everything", and also I realise i have "pourpouse" in life and this gives me "meaning".
Do you , dear "reader" have problems with "self esteem"? Maybe you see yourself like I did a "long time" ago and don't like "yourself". Well you can see how I did it and I believe that you can too. I believe that you can "unlock" the "positive thinking" inside your "brain" and you can learn to see that there is nothing "wrong" with you and you don't "need to change". I use to think "wow everything i do is "lazy and wrong" and i am "waisitng my life" blah blah blah. STOP IT. Why do you do this to youreself? Your "worth" is "infinite" and you just have to make yourself "blieve it" and then it will "come true"? It is that "easy"!!!!
Well I hope you see now how "powerful" positive thinking can be and that you do not get "depressed" or "down" on yourself. I belive in "you" and know you can do "anything" you want ok??
For "example" a long time ago I was "depressive" person and my "self esteem" was low because I didn't understand how to look at "bright side" of my life. This was before I discovered "LSD", "Frank Zappa", and also "Geraldo Television Show" which all changed "my life". This is how "long time ago Randy" would have thought about his "life":
"Wow my name is Randy and I hate myself. I am in my 50s and all I do is "sit on the couch and watch TV" all day. Wow why don't i do anything with my life like "get a job" and be "productive". I should cut my hair and "shave" I look like a "bum". Why am I not a "responsible" parent and let my kids grow up like "normal" instead of keeping them planted up to their waist in "soil" trying to make them grow into plant-humans? What is wrong with me, "waaahh", I am so lonely because my "wife" "divorced" me because I just get "stoned" and watch "TV". Wow maybe I should read "real" science books instead of "new age" webistes on "geocities" and believing anything that i "read". Wow I am really a failure. Why am I so "obsessed" with "Geraldo" isn't he sort of a "tool"? What's my "problem", maybe I should wear shirts that "button" and "tuck in" and go to real "college" insted of "onlinecoursescheap.com". Wow my life is really sad and "meaningless" and i'll never get out of this "dark hole" until I change "my self". Wow maybe I should have tried to "save my marriage" instead of following "grateful dead" on 8 consecutive tours and leaving my "wife" and "children" at home. Wow why do I only listen to "Terrapin Station" on repeat instead of "discovering" new music? Wow I am in denial about "everything" and I drown my sorrows with "green princess" and "Budweiser" and I can't stand to be "sober" with myself because my "soul" is like a "prison-cage" that I am "trapped in" until i "die" alone.
WOW. WHAT A "NEGATIVE NELLY". That is how "i was" a long time ago. Do you like how I was dear "reader" ??? I don't. I always thought like that and got myself "down" for "no reason". Why did I do that??? I will show you now how "happy" i am with the "power of positive thinking" and that life can be "good". It's all a matter of "prespectivity" Look:
"Wow my name is Randy and my life is "fantastical and I love myself and everyone "so much" . I have the "blessing" of getting up every "morning" and I see the sun and i smile at "it". Then i see "myself" in the mirror and love my beautiful long hair and beard and know that really those are "magic tentacles" that collect energy from my environment and deposit it into my body. I have such a "rich" life. I learn so much from "Geraldo Show" every day and am blessed with "unemployment checks" from friendly "taxpayers" that like me and want me to live "free". I am such a good "parent" because I make my children grow "right" into plants that don't consume "food" and "energy" and don't "pollute" and are so noble. I am so smart also because i have over "50 certificates" from schools online and I know three "galactic languages" and also "Esperanto language". People like me and i have such a "BIG ROLE" in society because i write this "blog" and i help SO MANY PEOPLE to LIVE RIGHT and I am a sort of "christ figure" for doing so. When i "die" and meet Jesus-Buddah they will probably say "thank you for your "service" on "earth" you now live eternally "with us" as "third godhead" of the cosmos> I say "ok I love you". Also I do not recall ever having a "wife" that must be a "figment" of imagination. And i do not regret following "grateful dead" for 8 consecutive tours because that was "fun" and one time Phil Lesh gave me "high five" backstage. Also I am not gullible and everything I belive makes "sense" and is grounded in "facts" because I learn them on "online courses" so they have to be true and also "terrapin station" is great album and i dont have to listen to new things if i dont want to. Also my "children" are happy and love me"
OK WOW SEE THE DIFFERENCE? What I am doing "now" is focusing on what is "good" in life wich is "everything", and also I realise i have "pourpouse" in life and this gives me "meaning".
Do you , dear "reader" have problems with "self esteem"? Maybe you see yourself like I did a "long time" ago and don't like "yourself". Well you can see how I did it and I believe that you can too. I believe that you can "unlock" the "positive thinking" inside your "brain" and you can learn to see that there is nothing "wrong" with you and you don't "need to change". I use to think "wow everything i do is "lazy and wrong" and i am "waisitng my life" blah blah blah. STOP IT. Why do you do this to youreself? Your "worth" is "infinite" and you just have to make yourself "blieve it" and then it will "come true"? It is that "easy"!!!!
Well I hope you see now how "powerful" positive thinking can be and that you do not get "depressed" or "down" on yourself. I belive in "you" and know you can do "anything" you want ok??
Thursday, May 17, 2012
"HAPPYNESS"
"Happyness"
By Randy Montardo
"Happyness" is looking in your "lovers" eye and saying
"I am in "love" with you"
and then you kiss their "eyelids" like a little hummingbird
and they giggle because it "tickles"
"Happyness" is also when you think of "God"
and all the nice things he gave us
like Cinnamon and flowers and "Don Henley"
and thanking him for his gifts of "plenty"
"Happyness" is looking out my window and seeing my daughters growing
into beautiful little plant beings of love
and then i water them and hug them and lay in the sun with them
until "Geraldo" comes on and then I go inside to watch it
and then you kiss their "eyelids" like a little hummingbird
and they giggle because it "tickles"
"Happyness" is also when you think of "God"
and all the nice things he gave us
like Cinnamon and flowers and "Don Henley"
and thanking him for his gifts of "plenty"
"Happyness" is looking out my window and seeing my daughters growing
into beautiful little plant beings of love
and then i water them and hug them and lay in the sun with them
until "Geraldo" comes on and then I go inside to watch it
"Happyness" is writing to "you" dear reader, and making your life "richer"
and help you to become like a blooming flower
I dream of you at night and imagine you sprinkling "sleep dust"
on my eyes and then i giggle and smile and fall into "slumber"
"Happyness" is constantly knowing and asking yourelf: "am i happy??"
and then you answer "yes, definitely i am so happy"
and you know you are not "lying" to yourself or conforming to
"social expectations" because you know you really are, end of story !!
"Happyness" is when I look at my "blog" and see "new comments"
and "visitor counter" says I had 1000 more visitors
WOW!!! I help so many people, i am like "modern Jesus figure?"
Yes I think I am. I deserve a Ben & Jerry's "Cherry Garcia" for snack.
"Happyness" is going to "hole Foods" to get "Kombucha"
and it is on "sale". And while I am there
I keep eating cheese samples until i am full
And then I don't need to cook lunch that day
"Happyness" is being friends with "dolphins" and learning their "language".
and communicating with aliens through them.
Then the aliens will come and the dolphins will tell them
Randy is nice. Take him away to Andromeda. And then I go with them.
"Happyness" is looking around at this "planet earth" and thinking:
"Wow look at this, it is all here for me to love"
And I hug the trees and pet my cats
And I meet so many friends on "facebook" that I love also
"Happyness" is the internet. On the "internet" I am free
I leave my "body" and am only "spirit" and "light"
The internet is a composite of our spirits mingling
It is the "perfect" place for the soul to "hang out"
"Happyness" is when people "like" my comments.
Because then I know that people like me and think I am nice
And then I don't feel so alone anymore and feel even "happyer"
Then i "Like" that they "like" it and "poke" them and ask if they want to "Skype"?
"Happyness" is letting my mind wonder and writing this blog for you
And knowing that when you are done reading you'll be "smarter" and "wiser"
And you will think of me in your prayers and tell god to "bless me"
And I can feel your blessings on my couch as I watch TV or in the shower
"Happyness" is visiting the "green priness in magical greenland"
You "know" what i'm talking about. (Winky face)
And when you visit her, you gain wisdom
And "spongebob Squarepants" is even funnier than before
"Happyness" is ..... HAPPYNESS
there s "no other way" to describe it
It's when you wake up and know
YOURE ALIVE
and that means you have to be happy.
and you smile.
It's time to start a "new day"
What will it hold for you?
My guess is it will be a "cornucopia" of HAPPYNESS
:)
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
"TWEETER" IS AGRAVATING ME!!!
OK I AM VERY "AGRAVATED" TODAY READER IM SORRY. I LOVE EVERYONE STILL BUT "TECHNOLOGY" IS HARD AND I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I HAVE TO DO YESTERDAY MY FRIEND TERANCE SAYS "RANDY YOU SHOULD USE 'THE TWEETER' SO THEN MORE PEOPLE FOLLOW YOU". WELL, WOW, I CAN TELL YOU THAT I HAVE BEEN GOING CRAZY TRYING TO DO THIS DARN THING EVER SINCE CAN YOU HELP PLEASE????
OK I ONLY KNOW "FRIENDSTER" AND "FACEBOOK" I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT "THE TWEETER" IS. SO I GO ON "ALTAVISTA SEARCH ENGINE" AND LOOK UP AND "ALTAVISTA" TELLS ME "TWEETER" IS A LOUDSPEAKER. HOW DO I BLOG THROUGH LOUDSPEAKER?? DO I SPEAK MY THOUGHTS INTO "MICROPHONE" AND THEN MY NEIGHBORS HEAR ME? THAT MAKES NO SENSE. ALSO, MY NEIGHBORS ALREADY GET MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER THAT I MAIL OUT SO THAT IS NO HELP. SO THEN I GO ON "ASK JEEVES.COM" TO TALK TO HIM TO UNDERSTAND SO THEN I CAN "TWEETER" MY BLOG TO MORE PEOPLE. I GO ON AND TYPE IN MY QUESTION: "HELLO JEEVES MY NAME IS RANDY CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS THE TWEETER SO I CAN DO IT ALSO???" ASKJEEVES WEBSITE GIVES ME INFOMRATION ON "RANDY STERN" AND OTHER RANDYS. NOTHING OF "TWEETER" , SO WHAT DO I DO???? WOW AT THAT POINT I WAS LOOSING MY COOL SO THEN I TOOK A "TRIP TO GREENLAND"
SO THEN I FIGURED OK WELL IF IT HAS TO DO WITH BLOGS AND BLOGS ARE ON COMPUTERS THEN I CAN GO TO BEST BUY. LAST TIME I WAS THERE THEY WERE NOT NICE BUT I AM "FORGIVING PERSON". SO I GO AND "SETH" FROM LAST TIME IS NOT THERE. THIS TIME IT WAS A GIRL THAT LOOKS "ALTERNATIVE" WITH "PIERCINGS" AND "GOTH" WORKING IN "COMPUTER DEPARTMENT" SO I ASK HER "HELLO DO YOU SELL THE TWEETER HERE?" SHE TRIES TO SELL ME TINY SPEAKERS AND I SAY "NO I MEAN THE TWEETER... LIKE FOR BLOGGING MY THOUGHTS???" SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND AND I GET "AGRAVATED" BECAUSE HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE EVEN GETTING HIRED AND THEY ARE SO IGNORANT???? SO THEN I EXPLAIN I HAVE BLOG TO HELP PEOPLE LIVE BETTER LIVES AND MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT TO BLOG YOU HAVE TO USE "THE TWEETER"??? THEN SHE UNDERSTANDS AND TELL ME YOU CAN'T "BUY" TWEETER YOU "DOWNLOAD" IT AND USE IT ON "IPHONE". WHAT????? I TELL HER I DONT WANT TO CALL ANYONE AND THEN WALK OUT BUT FIRST I BUY "THE GREAT FULL DEAD TERRAPIN STATION" CD BECAUSE IT WAS ON SALE. I ALSO TELL HER TO VISIT MY BLOG BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO DISCOVER LOVE AND GOD AND NOT LISTEN TO "MARYLAND MASON" AND "ALICE COOPER" AND BE "SAD" AND "DARK" ALL THE TIME
WELL I COME HOME AND TRY TO USE "SEARCH ENGINES" TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HECK "TWEETER" IS. THEN FINALLY MY BUDDY TERANCE CALLS AND SAYS "NO RANDY STUPID TWEETERING IS A THING YOU DO ONLINE LOL" AND SENDS ME A LINK SO THEN I UNDERSTAND A BIT MORE BUT IT LOOKS STUPID BECAUSE "THE TWEETER" IS LIKE BLOGS BUT ONLY A FEW LINES. MY BLOGS ARE LONG AND INSPIRED. BUT "LOGO" OF TWEETER BIRD GIVES ME IDEA. I CAN USE "MESSENGER BIRDS" TO "TWEETER" MY BLOG MAYBE??? WOW THIS IS WOULD BE FUN RIGHT???? WELL I DECIDE I DO THIS MYSELF BECAUSE I AM "FRIEND" OF THE BIRDS. SO THEN I WRITE MY "BLOG" OF THE DAY AND THEN GET THE BIRDS IN MY YARD WITH FOOD AND THEN I CATCH THEM AND I TIE PRINT OUTS OF MY BLOG TO THEIR LEGS. THIS WAS VERY HARD OK????? I COULD ONLY DO IT WITH THREE. SO THEY FLY AWAY BUT 8X10 COMPUTER PAPER IS BIG AND THEY CANT EVEN FLY WELL WITH FORTY BLOG ENTRIES TIED TO THEIR NECKS SO MAYBE I HAVE DO TO THIS WITH "EAGLES" AND "FALCONS".
WELL SORRY ABOUT MY "RANT" BUT THIS IS AGRAVATING AND NOW I HAVE BIRD "POOP" ON MY PANTS AND SANDALS FOR NOTHING AND I SPENT ALL DAY ASKING "JEEVES" AND AT BEST BUY AND I MISSED "GERALDO" ALSO. SO I HAD TO VENT AND NOW I GIVE UP ON "THE TWEETER". TOMORROW I WRITE POST ABOUT HOW TO LIVE LIFE WELL AGAIN TO PUT YOU ON "RIGHT PATH" OK?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)