THERE IS ONLY ONE NUMBER

I took my daughters out of "public school" a long time ago when i realized they could not teach even elementary math to them. One day Amethyst came back from school and showed me the homework i helped her do the night before. It was addition and all the answers we worked on were marked with an X and she had an F.

I double checked the answers and thought how could this be but sure enough they were all correct. 1+1=1, 5+4=1, 8+4=1, 3+6=1. Was i going crazy? So i called the teacher and said hello you gave my daughter an F but i checked and the answers are right why do you do this!??? She said sir all the answers were "1" she didnt' even try. I said i spent an hour helping her understand addition the night before and i could tell her they were right. The teacher said i was out of my mind. Then i told her she should check her answer key and I wanted to see a copy of her teaching lisense beacuse i doubt she even had one if she was so stupid!! Then she hung up on me. That's the last time Amethyst entered a "public School" again and i'll be darned if she ever does again.

"Spinoza" was the first mathematician after the "big bang" to say "ok all is one". He did not have a last name because back then everyone went by first name. People would go "hey spinoza what is __ + __ and he was always right because ANYTHING plus ANYTHING is one. That's why now in Spain where he is from if you ask for a beer you say "spinoza por favor".

Take a bottle of olive oil let one drop fall on your palm. good now drop another one. you will see there is still ONE drop on your hand. Now drop 3 more drops in the same place. Wow. Still 1. Drop another 20, 50, drops, the whole bottle. Hell you can dump buckets of olive oil in the bathtub pal but you're still going to have the same answer: ONE.

See and the teacher didnt get it. "Spinoza" did and that's why he's the greatest philospher and the first and only mathematicians. Einstein and all those people with equations miss the hole point! Let me explain to you:

I was born in "Redmond", California. Here is a picture ok?

Do you know what the population of this small town was? One. Population: 1

Now here is a picture of "New York City"

New York city: One of the biggest cities in the world. Population: 1

Here is MEXICO city- THE biggest city in the world. Guess the population??? 1.

Now add all the populations of the world and what is the total number of humans populating the planet at this given time? If you answered "One" you would be right and you understand this principal of mathematics by "Spinoza".

How many goats do you see here?? If you answered 1 you are correct. There are "1 goat" in this picture

So you see now you learn something from Randy. And that teacher did too and now maybe she teaches real mathematics!!!

WHO ARE WE???

Where does "water" come from? Why is the sky "blue"? Why do "earthquakes" happen? We as a human race have been trying to figure this out for hundreds of years and you know what, no one really knows. We know only a few things. For example that we have been left to populate earth by several species of benevolent aliens. Each "human race" is decendant from a different alien species. Look-




Can you tell which one is an alien and which one is "Ho Chin Min"? No. Exactly, it's a matter of what Kant (philosopher) called "a priori" knowledge, not "a posteriori", meaning that the answer has been lost in the mysterious veil of "time".Here is another example:

Please tell me which is an Andromedan and which is a "HUMAN". (No peeking at the caption. ) Pretty hard isn't it? Good luck with the next one:

Any luck?? Hmmm maybe the one on the right. no the left... wait... See... the answer is simpler than you think-

YOU CANT TELL THE "ALIENS" FROM THE "HUMAN'S" BECAUSE IT"S THE SAME THING!!!! HELLO??????? WE WERE POPULATED BY ALIENS THEREFORE WE ARE ALIENS. Nordic aliens populated the earth with white people. then "greys" populated the earth with "asiatic peopel". Then Andromedans gave us "latinos" and then Agharians and Syrians (not the country, the constellation) gave us black people and arabic people. Is that so hard to get? Just look at our world. It's a wonderful "Melting Bag" of aliens! :)

That's why racism is stupid because we are racist against ourselves when we are all benevolent creatures of light and we live under the same sun. 

So this is a plea to all you readers of "blogs". If you have seen the documentary "AVATAR" please write your congressman and tell them STOP THE WAR ON ALIENS BECAUSE IT"S THE WAR ON OURSELVES!!!!!!! We are all one no matter what race we come from and also we are all holograms that dont really exist.

HISTORY LESSON

Ok. Time for a history lesson in TRUTH. I was thinking about history and the world is really young. It was born in year zero, that's why year zero is zero because before that there was no years (this is BEFORE THE BIG BANG). Then the big bang happened and years started happening. Jesus came right out of the big bang and was the first man. Then teh romans came and didnt like him and killed him. WHY????? it was hard but we got better and aliens saw we were sorry we killed jesus so they decided they could live with us. that's when they populated asia and the americas. we got along. except genghis Khan was against humans and he wanted war but then it was ok.

Then nothing happened on earth for about 800 years.

Then humans "discovered" america but it was not a good thing! america was eden, people got along and there was never war because aliens were peaceful and advanced. but then Columbus and John Smith wanted to build MCDONADLS and it all went downhill. I feel bad about it...


Then the renaissance came and things were better. People like Picasso, Davinci, Napoleon, Van gogh, Rafael, Donatello, Shredder, Miles Davis, all made great art and were of elevated spiritual consciousness. Things are good for a while and there was NO WAR because peace and art dominated our hearts. America was fine then too.

THEN THEY INVENTED MACHINES AND EVERYTHING WAS RUINED FOREVER. March 30 1700 they invent the first machine. It didnt do much, it just consumed fuel and made noise and polluted but people liked it. From this point on, humanity went DOWNHILL. LOOK AT THE GRAPH FOR PROOF.
Except then the 60s came and people got turned on to cool things and FINALLY THE AGE OF AQUARIUS WAS DAWNING. LSD, FRANK ZAPPA, BEATLES, TIM LEARY, AND COUNTLESS OTHERS finally taught humanity whatt it all means. Buddah also came along around this time and thigns made a LOT more sense because until then the only religion we had was christianity and it was getting old.

THEN NIXON BECAME PRESIDENT WHY????????????

But its ok now its 2012 and a new consciousness is about to be born. In december, a cosmic veil of peace and serenity will fall on the earth, dropped from benevolent spaceships from Orion and Cygnus5, in order to assimilate us to their peaceful culture of colors and celestian awareness. I have spoken to them and they promised things will be just like now except everyone is happy and there is no more television and no more machines. I am eagerly waiting for the happiness to come :) :) :)

FLOWCHART OF LIFE

Ok this is the flowchart i created during a moment of EXTREME consciousness. As you can see it includes all teh basic components of life and the universe. It MAKES SENSE IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. EVERYTHING IS INTERCONNECTED. IF YOU FOLLOW THE ARROS THEY TELL A STORY IT'S THE STORY OF LIFE IN TEH UNIVERSE. PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS AND IF YOU DONT GET IT YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT IT SOME MORE ALSO. PLEASE PRINT THIS OUT AND PUT EVERYWHERE SO OTHERS CAN LEARN TOO. THERE IS TOO MUCH MISINFORMATION AND NOT ENOUGH FACTS OUT THERE IN THE "REAL WORLD". I WILL NOT WRITE MUCH MORE TODAY JUST PLEASE STUDY THIS AND UNDERSTAND!

BE IN TUNE WITH THE UNIVERSE

You know, our brains have tiny radio receptors taht allow us to be in tune with the sinewaves of the universe and that is what makes us evolved and aware. This is common knowledge if you have REALLY understood the Bible or the Tibetan book of the Dead or Frank Zappa's studio albums from the 80s. But all the radiowaves and cellular phones and microwaves and god knows what else we invented are CONFUSING the vibrations from outer space so we don't hear their celestial message.  We must learn to tune in to them in order to prepare for 2012! I give you a guide so you can live with more peace and listen to the universal waves of light.

In order to be "IN TUNE" you must amplify your receptivity for the infra-gamma waves. These are the only ones that mater they come from Andromeda and they contain news casts of what's going on in the galaxy, have really great meditation programs and other stuff. Dont worry, they're not in alien language. They're not in ANY language. Your mind just absorbs them and you're like "OH WOW NOW I GET IT". This happens to me constantly. I'll be gardening and whistling and then I'll ALL OF A SUDDEN have a jolt of "CONSCIOUSNESS" that invigorates me and makes me feel GOOD. That's what a typical UNIVERSAL BROADCAST is.

Good steps to take to amplify receptivity to UNIVERSAL INFRA-GAMMA WAVES (UIGW)

1. Always wear a magnetic helmet. Magnets attract stuff so it's a good idea to have them on your head since you want to attract the UIGWs. I took an old bike helmet and glued and rubber-banded as many mangets as i could find to it. It sort of looks like a big metallic Afro. Way cool. I wear it literally ALL of the time, except for when i sleep.

2. Crystals like (amethyst, amber, sapphire, most types of Onyx) give your entire being a positive charge that helps the UIGW receptors in your body. Make necklaces, bracelets, crowns, or rings out of them. I have been able to fashion an entire robe out of onyx crystals, held together with hemp. It is my favorite (and only) thing to wear and looks REALLY COOL. People look at my everywhere i go. They must think "wow he is in TUNE with it ALL!"

3. Eat an enormous amount of cheese. Always. I can't explain why, but every time I eat cheese I feel really in tune and my consciousness feels elevated.

4. Carry a cat or small animal with you at all times. Not on a leash, but like, in your hands. Literally touching your body. Since every living thing is essentially a satellite dish for universal waves, it makes sense that two "dishes" together have double the reception. So carry as many living animals you can with you. Put frogs in your pocket, have a snake wrapped around your neck, a cat under your arm, a poodle under the other, a few ferrets draped down your back. I never leave the house without at least 4 or 5 animals on my body.

5. Avoid taking showers or baths. They wash all your receiving gel off your body (what most people dismiss as "dirt"). If you MUST shower, immediately roll around in your back yard afterwards.

6.Look at the cover of Dark Side of the Moon. Don't you get it??? It was a message to tell you that if you listen to it, you get IN TUNE with the universe. The triangle on the cover is you. The white line is the music and the COLORS that come out the other side are all the universal vibrations you get fromthe record. HELLO?? So it's saying YOU LISTEN TO THIS RECORD AND THEN YOU GET THE UNIVERSAL MESSAGE. IT"S A SECRET UNIVERSAL MESSAGE! That's why it resonated with so many and sold so many copies. "Any Colour you Like" is literally the same thing as receiving a super strong Gamma sine wave from andromeda, it's THAT strong!! David Gilmour himself stated that Dark Side was essentially soul medicine and lobbied to get it sold in pharmacies in the UK. Also I would like anyone to just try to show me a better guitar solo than the one on "Time".

7. Live somewhere where there is little interference. Like the desert. Or on a houseboat in the middle of the ocean. Or if you're in a city make sure you live on the TOP floor of an apartmnet. DO NOT LIVE IN BASEMENTS YOU DONT GET ANY RECEPTION DOWN THERE!

8. Remain open. If you're angry or sad how can you accept UNIVERSAL communication? Hopefully the animals you carry around will always help keep you cheerful :)

Follow these simple steps and you'll imediately find your self IN TUNE with the universe and living THE RIGHT WAY :)

PARENTING IS DIFFICULT

So I went into the backyard this morning to see how my daughters were doing and boy was I in for a surprise. (Background info for new readers: I am bringing up my daughters THE RIGHT WAY, but feeding them only sun and water, and keeping them well-planted up to their waist  in the ground so they can grow to be beautiful, healthy plant children). Amethyst's soil was way too dry and was crying because a mean squirrell kept scratching at her all night. Leaf (the older one) was looking a bit wilted and I couldnt figure out if it's because she needed MORE sun or more SHADE.
So i put a bit of wire fencing around Amethyst to keep the squirrell out but then it was hard for me to give her hugs without getting my hair caught on the wire fencing. Then I transplanted Leaf into a large pot and temporarily put her in the shade but then she complained that it was too cold and she was hungry (for sun).

So It was very stressful and i didn't know what to do. It's hard being a single parent. So i called a gardening radio show i found online and asked for advice. The person answered and said hello. Then i explained hello i need advice for my daughters. The person said sir you have the wrong number this is a radio program for gardeners calling with questions. I said exactly so put me through. The person said sir we can't help you with child-rearing questions. I said but my daughters are essentially plants. The person didnt say anything for a long time. I said can you help me. The person asked me what did i need to know exactly. I said well Amethyst is looking dry and Leaf is a bit wilted i wonder if its their diet. The person then told me they took their job seriously and did not like prank calls. I told him I took my daughters health even more seriously so what do i do? So then the person said well what kind of "plants" are your daughters. I said they were human plants, duh what else could they be. The person said i dont understand. Then i explained how i was raising my daughters. The person was silent for a long time and i thought they were looking up info on their computer. After five minutes i said hello are you there. The person told me they would report me to the authorities. I said i'm going to report you to someone if you dont give me some information. Then the person called me a monster and I told them they should find peace with themselves and God. The person hung up on me. Well do not call the Sacramento public radio gardening show because they know nothing on parenting and it's a waiste of time in my opinion and the operators are rude.

So then I poured a lot of good organic fertilizer around Amethyst's roots and gave her water to drink and put Leaf in the greenhouse for the afternoon. BINGO! Leaf immediately started feeling better, and Amethyst felt a lot better. I also decided to leave one arm out of the soil so she could bat away the squirrel but I told her not to hurt the squirrell cause he's god's creature too and violence leads nowhere.

STOP WAISTING YOUR TIME

Hello, you know we dont live in this world for very long and we have to use all out time wisely or "one day we'll find ten years have got behind us no one told us when to run we missed the starting gun" - Pink Floyd. Except instead of ten years it's YOUR WHOLE LIFE that's passed by. That is why books and movies are a waist of time. It takes 2 hours to get through a movie, and days to get through a book. You have got to be kidding me! The thing is that the MESSAGES and MORALS we learn from good books and movies are important. So please take my advice: dont watch a hole movie or read a hole book. You can get the important imformation just by reading the title and the stuff it says on the cover. And all the time you save you can devote to staring at the sun and renewing your energy.

Here is an example ok? "ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE". Ok everyone has heard of this book and say that it's phylosophycal and important. I dont' disagree. I do disagree with the fact that everyone has to spend 20 hours of their lives reading it. That's fasism!! Look, all you need to know is right in the title! Its saying "ok in order to be ZEN you have to understand motorcycle meintenance. but you have to apply the principles of motorcycle maintenance to YOUR LIFE, not a motorcycle". So, bottom line is in order to be Zen and happy you have to treat your life like a motorcycle and fix what breaks as it happens along the way.

Wow. And i never even opened the cover of the book.

You can do this with any book or movie. Just look at the title, cover, description and you get a pretty good idea. That book "THE OMNIVORES DILEMMA" seams important right now. Well i picked it up and right on teh cover it said "Eat food. Not much. Mostly vegetables". Wow what a dummy. That author waisted years writing all that stuff when all he needed to say was done in six words ON THE COVER. I put the book down and went on with my day. Or the movie "THERE WILL BE BLOOD" well there was going to be violence so I said no thank you I dont want to show my daughters violence. So you see you can do this with anything. THE TERMINATOR- Humanity is going to destroy itself with all its machines (WOW TELL ME SOMETHING I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW), 2001 SPACE ODYSSEY- Space is complex and it's a real trip. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE- Life is great. CRIME AND PUNISHMENT- You commit a crime you have to deal with the consequences. WAR & PEACE- People get along but not all the time. FORREST GUMP- Shrimp fishing, war, and ping pong are good occupations for mentally ill people.

AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON THAT HAS FIGURED THIS OUT? AM I CRAZY? OR DO PEOPLE JUST LIKE WAISTING THEIR TIME FOR NO REASON??????

i could go on forever. You show me a movie or a book and i'll save you time. TOP GUN- gayes in the military are a good idea. THE GODFATHER- stay close to your family and enjoy each others company.
BRAVE NEW WORLD- in the future people will have more courage and things will be good. GONE WITH THE WIND- Bring an umbrella when you leave the house. TOM SAWYER- Let boys play outside instead of using their damn videogames. HUCKLEBERRY FINN- Same as Tom Sawyer except dont let your kid get too far down the MIssissippi. THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV- I dont know but it looks boring. MOBY DICK- Whales are hard to catch. JAWS- Beware of sharks they have sharp teeth.

Please email me and i can save you time, i have "read" or "seen" almost every book or movie so I know.

A POEM

I just want to
drift
forever in space
with my dolphin-friend
happy
and pass through the cornea
of my third eye
to capture the rainbow

Wow!
Dimensions unfold
to show me how everything
was born
and then i understand
"ah", i say
now i understand.
Far out.

My dolphin-friend
taps me with his cute nose
and it tickles
my chakra
and i let out a
bellylaugh
that would make Buddah proud
then Buddah laughs with me too
and my dolphin friend serves us
Green Tea.

In another galaxy,
I am free
Free to roam, in search of love
and fun
And my daughters are beautiful trees
and i water them with love
and organic pesticide
then they give me apples and pears.
I make pies.

Hello you beautiful dream
or, should i say,
brand new day!
where i breathe, run, and
do yard work.
The sun calls my name
I turn around smiling
wide eyed
"didn't you forget something?"
The sun asks
Then I remember
to kiss the earth.

Yep,
life is a dream.
And I am the weaver of my
REALITY
I spin a spiderweb of love
and drift on through to the other side into dimensions of realms unknown forever to taste the promise of tomorrow through the eyes of the sun as it tells me i am his favorite son and I am to serve humbly as the seventh son of the universe to reconcile the ying-yang balance in galactic expressions of silent light and mournful yearning of days past and yet to come which is to say i am that which ends where it begins itself in parallell universes of God's own wisdom
...lunchtime!

MmmmM!
Avocado, Cucumber, Radish,
Dirt-cakes, Sun-infused water,
Cherry Garcia for dessert
energy for me
to do the work
God put me here for
i.e.- part time clerk at Whole Foods
thank you God.

I just want to drift
forever in space
with my dolphin-friend
and when i am tired
he will pet my head
and whisper lullabies
into my ear
but i won't understand them
because they will be in dolphin-language
but it will all make sense
anyway.

DOLPHINS

OK I'M SORRY BUT THERE ARE BASIC THINGS PEOPLE HAVE TO GET INTO THERE HEADS OR I REFUSE TO KEEP TALKING TO THEM. #1 ABSOLUTE THING IS THAT DOLPHINS ARE OBVIOUSLY MAGICAL OR EXTRATERRESTRIAL OR BOTH OR MAYBE THERE EVEN ISNT A WORD TO DESCRIBE THEM YET? HAVE YOU SEEN A DOLPHIN????? LOOK:



yOU TRY TO TELL ME THAT THING JUST "EVOLVED". DO IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU EVEN TRY. NO WAY. LOOK, THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE SMILING ALL THE TIME:



(CAPTION: "HEY THERE I'M YOUR FRIENDLY WATER DWELLING ALLY! i AM SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO MEAT YOU!! LET'S SWIM TOGETHER TOWARDS THE AFTERLIFE LOL !!")

RIGHT, LOOK AT HOW THEYRE ONE LONG BODY BUT THEN THEY DO ARC JUMPS FOR FUN??? WHY? THEY ARE SO SMART THEY DO ADDITION AND STUFF. THEY KNOW WHEN SOMEONE IS IN DANGER AND HELP THEM. DOLPHINS WERE LIKE UNDERWATER HORSES WHEN ATLANTIS EXISTED



THEY JUST LOOK MAGICAL. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. THEIR SHEER APPEARANCE IS 100% UNDESPUTABLE PROOF THAT THEY ARE FROM OUTER SPACE. OR ANOTHER PLANET. I BELIEVE ALL THE GOODNESS AND LOVE IN THE WORLD COMES OUT OF THEM LIKE RADIATION OR SOMETHING. THE MIAMI DOLPHINS ARE MY FAVORITE FOOTBALL TEAM.



OH MY GODDD WHAT HOW DO THEY EXIST!!!! THEY DO THAT?? HOW?? WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!!!!!! GOOD ONE GUYS!! GREAT FORM!!! GODSPEED YOU BEINGS OF LOVE & LIGHT!! PEOPLE PLEASE GET EXCIETED ABOUT THIS OR U R WAISTING UR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE QUANTUM REALITY

Ok i am not an expert but you know what i have read my fare share of books on quantum physics to understand the PHYSICAL REALITY around me and I must say i can tell you the basics. Basically, the UNIVERSE we see is a giant constructed HOLOGRAM. Just look at all this in front of you. This screen? the wall? the tree out the window? They're "REAL"?? HAHAHAHA GOOD ONE MAN!! Ok yeah, they're REAL. ok so i guess my question to you is uh... what exactly is FAKE if THEY are "REAL". Seriously i'd like to know please. Yeah you dont have an answer probably. Don't fret, i am here to tell you not to be afraid, the universe is all a holographic construct. That's why garlic smells like that. Also, when you die, you obviously just go on to the next hologram so no worries :) Remember, don't trip on your blues man! So this probably threw you for a spin. But another BREAKTHROUGH in quantum physics is the knowledge that matter is basically meaningless. WHy? well look at a wall. it looks like one thing and you cant walk through it. But everything is made up of tiny atoms. So there is space between all these atoms. So if you put your mind to it or use the right tools (LIKE A HAMMER) you can walk through walls. Or through a car, or through a ship. Just use your mind and a hammer and you can walk through everything. Yep, matter is a real joke when you think about it. You can also easily just fly straight up into the sky or dig through the earth all the way to china. Also, look at how weird starfruit looks. So quantum PHYSICS shows us we can do whatever we want cause matter and the holographic universe is a giant joke and our MINDS win over ILLUSION. Cats show us how this can be done. The last thing Quantum physics discovered is parallel universe. This means if you dont like your life just hop over to a better PARALLEL universe. Basically there are all these universes right? and there is a "YOU" living out "YOUR LIFE" in each of them. But in each "universe" that "YOU" is living in a different frame of mind. For example in this universe, you are you. But in the next parallel universe "you" are living without fear, and in the next universe after that "you" are living with more laughter and love and in the next one after that "you" are living in the forest in indonesia or something. EVERY TIME YOU MAKE A DECISION YOU ARE CATAPULTED INTO A PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE YOU LIVE THE WAY YOU LIVE ONCE THAT DECISION HAS BEEN MADE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FAR OUT THAT REALLY IS?????? SO MAKE A DECISION RIGHT NOW QUICK!!! Nice. good decision. Welcome to the parelll universe where you live with (insert decision and frame of mind here). Cats are portals to these universes that's why there are cat ladies, they are "surfers" of the parallel universes. Dogs keep you anchored to one universe but i's usually a good one that's why hippies are really good friends with t heir dogs. Vegetables.

"WOW I NEVER LOOKED AT THINGS THAT WAY BEFORE"

Hi there is one thing i really get a kick out of. It's to get people to look at things in A NEW LIGHT. That is what life is all about. Wherever I am whatever i do, i make sure i turn people on to NEW WAYS of seeing and doing things! It's all about making people see with their THIRD EYE man! For example I was at a movie the other day and they were showing a way cool documentary film called "avatar" about the current political situation on another planet. At the end a fellow watcher was commenting on how "weird" the "aliens" in the documentary were. I turned to him and said "hey brother, you ever think maybe WE are just as alien as they are to us?" Wow. This really took the guy for a trip. I could tell. You could tell he never gave much thought to who we are. This other time this guy on the street was feeling down i could tell and he asked me for change and i said to him "hey buddy listen, life is a State of Mind, that's all it is". Haha this guy just about had a complete life change, i could tell it was really meaningful to him because he just stared at me without saying anything so i said "dont even mention it, youre welcome brother" and left him to deal with his new trip. That's what i'm talking about! Sending people on new exciting trips. Just squeegee their third eye really well and send them on there way! The best way to do this is to challenge conventional "logic" and "NO-ledge" that everyone holds sacred. As Sophocles once famously said "Be the change you want to be here in the world now!"

PEOPLE ARE NOT NICE ANYMORE

So I went to the "Home Depot" to buy fertilizer and mulch to feed my daughters and while there I had a "CONFRONTATION" with a human being of much lesser awareness. What had happened was that I was perusing the isles for the best quality organic insecticide-free mulch and fertilizer because I care about my daughters and god forbid if i poison their earth-food. No way! They are my precious seeds! So you know how the isles at "Home Depot" are really long and tall well i wanted a bag of mulch from where I couldn't reach so I asked a scrappy young man that looked able bodied. He said "I dont work here" and turned away. Wow. Rude!! So i said well no one else is around brother how about you help me out and I'll send some good Karma your way? (Should have been left unsaid, duh!) He said i don't think so. he was also on an "iPhone" the hole time which i find to be a signal marker for the end of civilization so I lost my cool and I said you know man when the Andromedans seeded Earth with life forms I think they intended a bit more LOVE to be in the ether. They guy kept reading his news on "instagram" or whatever you call it. So then I really let my YANG overpower my yin and said "thanks for nothing ya doofus". This angered the young man. He said what did you say. I said I am just saying you should spread some more love around man. He said I dont love you you old faggot. I said well I love you man how about we try to get that bag. He said you old faggot say you love me again. I said hey man easy then he walked away. Then a guy named Fernando came buy that worked at "Home Depot" and he gave me the bag. The cash register lady was chewing gum with her mouth open and didn't make eye contact with me. I got home and cried and my tears flowed so free that I didn't even have to water Amethyst and Leaf that night, the earth was still moist. I envy how lucky they are growing up THE RIGHT WAY without mean people around. THey can enjoy the suirrells and birds and trees and SUN all the time and all those things give love ALWAYS. Except there is one squirrel that always gets to Amethyst and scratched her up real bad sometime.

WEED

OK YES WEED IS LIKE THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING KNOWLEDGE BUT ONLY IF YOUR CONSCIENCE IS CLEAN. HERE IS HOW. BASICALLY WHEN I SMOKE THE HOLY GREEN SUBSTANCE I MAKE COMMUNION WITH NATURE. I GO OUT TO THE WOODS BY MY HOUSE AND TALK TO THE TREES AND FLOWERS AND SAY "HELLO NATURE HOW ARE YOU TODAY. I AM A HUMAN MAY I GAIN YOUR KNOWLEDGE. THEN A FRIENDLY AZALEA OR MAPLE WILL SAY WHAT'S UP AND I FEEL HAPPY. THEY ARE FRIENDLY!!! SEE, THE MARIJUANA WEED PLANT IS LIKE THE GATEKEEPER TO THE NATURAL WORLD. IF YOU SMOKE IT, YOU SMOKE THE "ESSENCE OF NATURE" SO THEN YOU BECOME NATURE, SO THEN YOU'RE ON THE "WAVELENGTH" OF ALL THE PLANTS AND ANIMALS. AND THEY GET YOU. IF YOU SMOKE WEED AROUND A CAT YOU "GET" THE CAT. AND THE CAT "GETS" YOU. YOU JUST GOTTA BE COOL. I THINK WHEN GOD CREATED THE WORLD IT WAS LIKE "OH YEAH I HAVE TO PUT SOMETHING HERE FOR HUMANS TO SMOKE SO THEY REMEMBER" SO GOD CREATED WEED. NOW WHEN HUMANS SMOKE WEED THEY WATCH ADULT SWIM AND LAUGH AT WILL FERREL. WRONG!! WRONG! WRONG! NOT THE WAY! PLEASE STOP IT! OK?? WEED IS NOT FOR WATCHING WILL FERRELL BE FUNNY. YOU HAVE TO SMOKE WEED AND TALK TO A CAT OR TREES AND UNDERSTAND NATURE. I HATE HOW PEOPLE MISUSE WEED. IT'S LIKE A SACRED SACRAMENT OF SACREDNESS THAT WE FORGOT HOW TO USE. IT IS THE KEY TO THE UNKNOWN REALM OF THE PSYCHE OF THE MIND OF GOD'S NATURAL KINGDOM OF FOREVERMORE SO PLEASE USE ACCORDINGLY. GOD, ANCHORMAN WAS A FUNNY MOVIE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ONE DAY YOU'LL NEED THE FRIENDSHIP OF NATURE TO SURVIVE SO SMOKE WEED TO BE "SANE". WHEN ALIENS COME BACK TO CHECK ON US THEY'LL BE DISAPOINTED IN US FOR WATCHING ALL THE WILL FERRELL MOVIES AND LISTENING TO PINK FLOYD. THERE ARE OTHER DUTIES IN THE WORLD AND LEARNING HOW TO GET ALONG WITH PLANTS IS DEFINITELY #1. PLEASE SMOKE WEED ACCORDINGLY AND FIND THE TRUTH. I SUGGEST YOU TRY TO LIVE LIKE A PLANT ITS PEACEFUL AND ALL YOU NEED IS SUN EARTH WATER AND SUNTAN LOTION IF YOU HAVE A LIGHT COMPLEXION. THE OAK TREE TOLD ME THAT HIS FIRST 20 YEARS WERE HARD BUT THEN HE GOT USED TO IT. WOW I HOPE PEOPLE FOLLOW ELEMENTARY KNOWLEDGE AND GET "WISE TO THE GAME". WITH LOVE, YOUR FRIEND RANDY!!!!

NATURE

IT'S NATURE'S WORLD, WE'RE JUST LIVING IN IT MAN! HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY NATURE DOESNT TAKE IT ALL BACK I'LL TELL YOU WHY. OK SO I HAD A CONVERSATION TO A BEAUTIFUL 120 YEAR OLD OAK TREE AND HE EXPLAINED IT ALL TO ME. BASICALLY, THEY KNOW THE DEAL OK? LOOK HUMANS CUT DOWN TREES AND BUILD CITIES AND NATURES LIKE "OK DUDE ITS COOL YEAH DUDE!!" RIGHT? BUT THEN THEY'RE ALL IN ON IT. AZALEAS, RODOHENDRONS, DIRT, WEEPING WILLOWS. THEY'RE LIKE "YEAH CUT US DOWN MAN YOU'LL SEE!!" CAUSE EVENTUALLY, WHEN THE "GREAT ECONOMIC COLLAPSE" HAPPENS, GUESS WHAT?? THEY'RE TAKING IT ALL BACK! BAMBOO IS LIKE THE COMMUNIST VANGUARD OF NATURE. LOOK AT IT. BAMBOO IS SO MILITANT. IT GROWS LIKE 2 INCHES A DAY WITH WATER OR WITHOUT WATER. IT JUST PERSISTS. SO NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CUT IT DOWN IT JUST KEEPS GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING WITHOUT EVER STOPPING. NATURE IS UNSTOPPABLE. IF ELECTRICITY OR MONEY RUNS OUT WE'RE DONE RIGHT?? NOT NATURE. IT JUST NEEDS SUN AND WATER MAN! FAR OUT! SO THE SECOND OUR MONEY RUNS OUT AND WE'RE IN RUINS NATURE IS LIKE "OK WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE". CITIES OVERGROWN. BEUTIFUL! THAT'S WHY I'M RAISING MY DAUGHTERS AS PLANTS, CAUSE I CAN FORESEE THE FUTURE AND KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO THRIVE IN A FUTURE WHERE NATURE REIGNS. JUST WATCH. WALK DOWN YOUR STREETS AND YOU SEE ALL THESE TREES AND FLOWERS GROWING AND REALIZE "OH MAN THE SECOND WE CAN'T BUILD ANYMORE, THEY'RE ALL TAKING OVER. THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S WHY I MAKE FRIENDS WITH ALL THE TREES AND BUSHES AND FLOWERS IN THE AREA AND REMIND THEM "HEY MAN PRETTY SOON WHEN THE GREAT ECONOMIC COLLAPSE HAPPENS I'M COOL RIGHT? YOU KNOW ME RIGHT? OK I LIKE YOU PLANT. PLEASE KEEP GIVING ME OXYGEN. I ALSO DO NOT DOUBT THAT IF TREES COULD, THEY'D USE GUNS AND STUFF. JUST LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE SO BIG THEY HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHATS GOING ON AND HOW TO MOVE IF THEY HAVE TO. SO I'M ON THEIR SIDE. WHAT SIDE ARE YOU ON. I SUGGEST YOU THINK ABOUT IT, AND IF YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION YOU SHOULD JUST THINK ABOUT IT ALSO. :)

BACTERIA

Whenever I have an illness I imagine there are a lot of tiny little bad guys inside my body going around looting and making damage. But then I apply the medicine and then I feel so good cause I know I just sent reinforcements in. So when I put the BOOM tuff actin' TINACTIN on my foot i feel the tingly cold and iknow there is a war being fought on my FOOT! It's just like a real war down there. THere are a bunch of tiny little guys figthing it out for who gets to rule the foot. Sometimes I feel little pulses of "feeling" and I imagine those are the bombs going off. Cause how do bacteria and antibacteria fight? They must use wepons otherwise how does a fight happen you know. So i'm sure on a molecular level these bacteria and the TINACTIN are using tiny bombs. That's why the Tinactin marketers say "BOOM! Tough Actin' TINACTIN!" cause they have little anti-athlete's foot bombs". But then I start to feel bad for the athlete's foot i'm killing cause think about it. That's real living stuff. And Tinactin is like stormtroopers or like agents of modernism that want everything really safe and sterile (like a Manhattan cocktail lounge) and I realize i should be spraying Athlete's Foot ON the TINACTIN and kill the TINACTIN. I want nature to live and triumph always but on my foot it's hard to reconcile my morals with my personal interest to live long with whole, healthy feet.

FINALLY ANOTHER SANE PERSON

I have found a kindred spirit whilst websurfing. Check out his site! You can find out if you were once an alien yourself!

http://www.book-of-thoth.com/article1702.html

LOOKIN FOR A LOVE

Neil Yong sings in a song "lookin for a love that's right for me, i don't know how long it's gonna be" well that's how i feel in springtime. My wife passed away to the light-realm shortly after Amethyst was born and I've been a lonely hunter ever since. Spring time makes me want to find love again and I hope this blog will lead me to another soul mate, which will hopefully be the reincarnation of my wife or my mom :) Here goes nothing:

Attention female humans, male human looking for soul mate, preferably reincarnation of mother or dead wife. Desireable traits are:

-MUST be Cancer or Scorpio. If you are neither you need NOT apply!

-MUST be interested in being a loving mother to two beautiful Plant-Children: Leaf and Amethyst. These are two adorable daughters that i am raising THE RIGHT WAY by teaching them the value of not eating "traditional food" and surviving off of solar energy, water, and air. They require very little attention as they do not move, they are firmly planted in the backyard. However they do need company and constant watering and the squirrels must be kept away from them at all times.

-Must like yoga, astral traveling (mostly Andromeda constellation, sometimes Cyngus-5 if i have the ENERGY LOL) and hiking barefoot.

-Must be very interested in cukoo clocks and all aspects of this great artisanal art!

-Must be able to fill my heart with love and happiness.

-Must share or at least tolerate my incessant quest for TRUTH

-Must be able to live underwater for extended periods of time if family relocates to New Atlantis (see previous post).

-Great sense of humour please (Peanuts, Family Circus, Dave Barry, Frank Zappa, etc..)

-Understands the absurdity of wearing clothes inside the house - at any temperature

-Likes Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia

-Preferably female.

THE OCEAN, OUR HOME

Their is so much unexplored territory on our mothership earth that it's unbelievable. Ok did you know that us humans know more about outer space than the oceans. I think it's absurd that we don't live underwater like fishes and sharks because after all we came from there. First of all remember Atlantis? Also, we are entering the Age of AQUARIUS which means fish bowl in latin, i.e.- OCEANS. All signs point to us HAVING to live underwater. "But randy we can't breath water stupid LOL" you say to me. Well peace, brother, because i have news for you. If SCIENCE says we came from oceans then how did we survive there in the first place. See? Also, look, the ocean is made of water ok. And water is H2O. That means that their is one part hydrogen (good for you) and TWO parts OXYGEN (GREAT for you). So why not breathe in oxygenated, clean water? The only reason people drown is because they get afraid cause they're not used to having liquid in their lungs instead of water but you know what if you keep calm and give it a chance you'll find you get just as much oxygen from water and it feels all tickly and funny in your lungs. It's a welcome change. Also this way you can rinse out all that SMOG and CIGARETTE smoke (blech!) and have clean lungs again. Just like doing laundry! Once we learn to breathe underwater we can build cities there and live peacefully like our Atlantis brothers used to do. I believe there is still a sizeable infrastructure down there we can build up from (tran lines, road systems, churches, etc..). Think how funny it'll be. If you wanna take a shower down there, it means you dry off for a few minutes. Its like everything will be inverted :) I think at first only pisces and other water signs should colonize the oceans. After a few months once they have the hang of it, earth signs can join in. Fire signs may not be able to live down there but we can keep contact with them through dolphin-messengers in order to keep abreast of what happens on dry land. Other amphibians like alligators and hippopotamuses can also be our trusted allies and can do a lot of good work.

GEORGE HARRISON WAS AN ALIEN

Ok i guess some people need everything spelled out for them because they dont want to acknowledge TRUTH. One important truth we all have to come to understand is how the Beatles were essentially four apostles of love for the coming (or already BEGUN) age of AQUARIUS. Now most people will say "what Randy they were humans LOL". PLEASE TAKE THE BOLOGNA OFF OF YOUR EYES AND LOOK OK? Their message was equal to Jesus and to Vishnu and to pretty much every messiah. The Beatles were prophets for the age of aquarius. This is pretty much logically proven. What people fail to see is that there was a divine being amongst them who was guiding the way. No it was not John, he was the most human of all cause he was always in the spotlight and deserted his first wife and did heroin and plus he kind of had a funny voice. GEORGE HARRISON was the guiding force of the four Beatle apostles. He was quiet and sort of overlooked everything. There is no birth certificate for George Harrison and his parents have never been identified. The earliest record of his existence was around 1956 or 57. There is proof of this. Any other information has of course been falsified by the Illuminati or Yoko Ono (SAME THING). Did you ever wonder why all the songs were written by Lennon/McCartney? George was too busy communicating with the astral frequencies and TELLING John and Paul what to do. It's no wonder he always laid back and looked serious. He had bigger fish to fry than female fans. Have you heard "Blue Jay Way". If not, go listen to it right now and tell me it wasn't written by an alien. I'd like to see anyone tell me that with a straight face. When the beatles were broken up by Yoko (agent of SATAN, sent to deviate them from their guiding light) it was up to George to take over. Why do you think all of a sudden he can magically write the best solo album out of all the Beatles combined. Just like that. He said ok the Beatles have been thwarted by Satan's pawn, it's now up to me as a benevolent alien guiding humanity towards the age of aquarius to take over and write ENLIGHTENING music. Then he wrote "Wah Wah" and "My sweet Lord".

SHOES

I consider shoes as much as an attack on human dignity as computers, processed food, and formal logic. I can't stand them! Why do people insist on wearing funny looking FOOT TRAPS? There is a metaphysical reason to walk barefoot first of all god gave you feet shaped like that for a reason. Second of all every time you make contact with the ground the earth sends nurturing vibes through the soles of your feet into your body to give you vitality and keep your chakras glowing. If you wear shoes, the rubber soles insulate you and you are ALIENATED from mother earth. Stop it ok ?! Also avoid sidewalks cause they're made of concrete and earthvibes do not go through those either. I always take dirt paths or take a backpack full of dirt with me and sprinkle a path of dirt ahead of me as I walk along. I successfully took out all the wood and vinyl flooring in my home and now my family and I enjoy 100% contact with the PLANET all day every day. If someone spills some kombucha... BIG DEAL! Mother earth will drink it. No need for towels to wipe stuff up! We have beutiful grass and flowers blooming right next to the toilet and in our closets. Its so refreshing! Just a little way to stay close to THE EARTH-SHIP we live on. Sometimes restaurants and stores say no you cant come in cause you are barefoot sir and also they dont want dirt in their isles and floors. Good riddance I can eat at home and also they will be sorry in the afterlife when they find their souls (or should i say SOLES LOL!!!!!! :) on a lower spiritual level. So in conclusion i implore you not to wear shoes and always walk on dirt, grass or water.

LIFE OUT OF BALANCE

There is a simple way to know that we as HUMANS are not living right you know what that is- the horoscope. Every horoscope sign is a particular way. Virgos are close to nature, Leos aggressive, Geminis always have a twin and so on and so forth. Well now thanks to MODERN TECHNOLOGY and industry and internet and cities where there are no trees anymore, our life is out of balance. You can't tell who's an Aries or a Capricorn or whatever anymore because WE ARE NOT LIVING WITH NATURE ANYMORE. So we lose the properties of our astrological signs. Once upon a time, before humanity started playing God, it was easy to tell what sign everyone was just by looking at them and observing them. Virgos looked and acted like Virgos, Pisces looked and acted like pisces and so on for each sign. That's cause we lived in accordance with the stars and the universe and nature. Back then it was easy for people to meet their soul mate cause you could just see a nice peasant girl that looked a bit like a lobster or something and know that she was a Cancer and you matched with her. Or a single maid would spot an archer in the woods and know he was a Saggitarius and a good match to her personality. That's why people married so young and got along so well and THERE WAS NO WAR. Now we don't get vibrations from each other. Leos are shy, Capricorns are too organized, Taurus are unusually chipper during Mercury's retrograde... everyone is lost in their own individual universe, they dont BELONG TO THEIR CONSTELLATION anymore. Not belonging to constellations = not belonging to the universe = not being one with god = not being HUMAN! Stop it! Find your true nature, live in accordance to your astrological sign. I remember when i was a young kid in rural Maine, you could tell what sign everyone was just by walking by them on the street. That's cause we were all farmers. Now everyone wears jeans and ipods and cut their hair according to FASHION and not according to their inner nature. It's a tragedy. FIND YOUR SIGN-FIND YOURSELF= FIND YOUR SOULMATE. This link is usefull http://www.astrology-online.com/love.htm Let's put human life back into balance ok fellow humans?

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED

Hello fellow humans. Did you know that Lenin once said "all you need is love". This is so true and it really is all you need. When my wife and I had our first child it was very hard on both of us because we had to resort to a primitive, forceful form of conception known as human intercourse. This savage ritual is so outdated and invasive towards women that we knew after our first child (Leaf) that we weren't going to let that happen again. This is when we discovered the power of love. Through transcendental meditation we were able to open up our hearts and bodies to each other, without resorting to barbarian physical measures. Nine months later, our second daughter, Amethyst was born- without intercourse. This is not just a miracle, but a testament to the power of love. My wife and I were able to give new life to this world just by focusing our "love beams" on each other's organs and radiating her womb with pure unconditional love. Amethyst is now a healthy, vegan, 4 year old vegan. It was always strange to me that she has red hair and blue eyes as it is nowhere to be found in my family or my wife's but maybe god wanted to "wink" at us by giving us a sign. I encourage all of you to remember Lenin's lesson "all you need is love" and apply it to your life. If the pure power of love could make Amethyst be born imagine what you can do. I bet Tiger Woods uses this power when he golfs, thats why he's so good. And Obama uses it when he's the ruler of this country and that's how people call him "the new Martin Luther King of America" because he uses as much love as the original MLK had done. I will talk a lot more about love in this blog in the future because I think there is so much to learn. P

HOW TO FLY

Some people out there choose to live their close minded life obeying silly old rules and not thinking for themselves. NOT ME. I learned that if you challenge old conventions and elementary logic you will achieve your true human potential. One "superstition" I like to challenge is gravity. It is stupid that just because an apple feel on some old guy's head now we all have to obey his rule. There are plenty of wonderful things around us that disprove it. Michael Jordan for example- they call him "AIR" Jordan cause he looks like he flyes when he dunks the ball. That's all because he's a SUPREME BEING that learned that he doesn't have to listen to gravity, and he flies when he wants. I bet you he hovers around his house all the time when no one's looking. He can go days without touching the ground, but he doesnt abuse his power and only uses it when he has to dunk. Also look at a balloon. When you let it go it flows straight UP. Completely disproving gravity. What a joke. But no one notices or listens. It's all in your mind, if you're on the ground all the time don't come crying to me. Birds learned to fly because they chose to believe they could. You can do the same. If you want to fly you should be like Michael AIR Jordan and free your mind. I read his wikipedia page to find out what his secret was and I think it was that he majored in Cultural Geography at UNC Chapel Hill. I think the professors there really open your mind and give you a chance to fly.