PARENTING IS DIFFICULT

So I went into the backyard this morning to see how my daughters were doing and boy was I in for a surprise. (Background info for new readers: I am bringing up my daughters THE RIGHT WAY, but feeding them only sun and water, and keeping them well-planted up to their waist  in the ground so they can grow to be beautiful, healthy plant children). Amethyst's soil was way too dry and was crying because a mean squirrell kept scratching at her all night. Leaf (the older one) was looking a bit wilted and I couldnt figure out if it's because she needed MORE sun or more SHADE.
So i put a bit of wire fencing around Amethyst to keep the squirrell out but then it was hard for me to give her hugs without getting my hair caught on the wire fencing. Then I transplanted Leaf into a large pot and temporarily put her in the shade but then she complained that it was too cold and she was hungry (for sun).

So It was very stressful and i didn't know what to do. It's hard being a single parent. So i called a gardening radio show i found online and asked for advice. The person answered and said hello. Then i explained hello i need advice for my daughters. The person said sir you have the wrong number this is a radio program for gardeners calling with questions. I said exactly so put me through. The person said sir we can't help you with child-rearing questions. I said but my daughters are essentially plants. The person didnt say anything for a long time. I said can you help me. The person asked me what did i need to know exactly. I said well Amethyst is looking dry and Leaf is a bit wilted i wonder if its their diet. The person then told me they took their job seriously and did not like prank calls. I told him I took my daughters health even more seriously so what do i do? So then the person said well what kind of "plants" are your daughters. I said they were human plants, duh what else could they be. The person said i dont understand. Then i explained how i was raising my daughters. The person was silent for a long time and i thought they were looking up info on their computer. After five minutes i said hello are you there. The person told me they would report me to the authorities. I said i'm going to report you to someone if you dont give me some information. Then the person called me a monster and I told them they should find peace with themselves and God. The person hung up on me. Well do not call the Sacramento public radio gardening show because they know nothing on parenting and it's a waiste of time in my opinion and the operators are rude.

So then I poured a lot of good organic fertilizer around Amethyst's roots and gave her water to drink and put Leaf in the greenhouse for the afternoon. BINGO! Leaf immediately started feeling better, and Amethyst felt a lot better. I also decided to leave one arm out of the soil so she could bat away the squirrel but I told her not to hurt the squirrell cause he's god's creature too and violence leads nowhere.