GOING "VIRAL"

Hello sweet reader ok I am a bit “frustrated” today because I had to run around  all over the place and people were not nice to me and also the sun wasn’t out so no vitamin D for me. On top of that I had to transplant my daughters to a different part of the yard so the damn squirrell would stop scratching them and also the sun was severely burning Leaf’s face. Being a parent is "hard" but Now they are ok. But this is what happened before that:

My friend told me “Randy, you have to make your blog “viral so everyone can read it and then you help more people”. Well I looked up what “viral” means and it means you get sickness from virus. What, I give my blog the flu? I was confused so I went to the “Best Buy” to buy something to make my blog “viral” because I don’t know how you make a website sick, I thought it was “teck speak” for something else.  I asked “Seth”, the computer guy there if I could have something to make my blog go “viral”. Well I could see right off the bat that Seth was not too bright because he just looked at me for a long time not blinking. Then he said I can’t “buy” things to make blogs “viral” they do it by themselves. So I asked him what button I have to click on “blogger” to make it do that. Again, I know we are all God’s children and we are all made different, but Seth seemed a bit dull to me and also rude because he would just stare at me like I was a monkey or something. So I said can you show me how to do it. He said I think you’re missing the point “sir”. When people call me sir I  don’t like it because I’m Randy Montardo, not some “king” or some “other” thing WE ARE ALL HUMAN WHY DO WE HAVE TO GIVE EACH OTHER TITLES AND STUFF?? So I said Seth can I see your manager. Then “Manager Juan” came to help. I told Juan that Seth was not helping me and I want my blog to get sick or go viral or something. Then this guy laughed and then said I’m sorry what. I said can I go “viral” please. Then they explained to me they don’t sell that stuff. So I bought the “Beach Boys Surfin Safari” cd and walked out the store.

So I thought a “farmacy” could sell stuff. If I want my “blog” to go “viral” and viral means “to get sick” then maybe farmacy I don’t know, I’m not Bill Gates. So I go to “CVS” and ask hello I have a blog can I have “viral” please. I swear people in my town all need to do yoga or smoke less because they all have the same dead stare when I talk to them. BE ACTIVE! SIEZE THE DAY. Well “Eveleigh” stares at me too and then says I think you have the wrong store mister. I think you have the wrong store….”MISTER”.  MISTER? Do I look like a spray bottle? Do i look like i "mist" things all day? Do I water plants? Well, yes, in fact I do… I water my daughters every day – I am raising them to be plants- and also I have a garden, so I guess I am  a “MISTER” but she said it in a way I know was not nice. Randy is 56 years old he wasn’t born yesterday. So I look through the isles and look for “viral” drugs. Then I find “AZITHROMYCIN” on sale and it says something about Treating viral things. Well I was onto something and it was on sale also so I bought one. But the box didn’t say anything about “blogging”. I was lost and also “frustrated” but then I saw sour gummy “worms” and I was happy. I did not tell “peace sister” to “Eveleigh” cause I could tell she was “texting” something about me to her friend in the “stock room” and you don’t do that because it's not nice.

So then I came home and “googled” viral again and still got things about getting sick and medicine. So then I googled “BLOG VIRAL??” and now I understand. It means that a blog BECOMES like a sickness and infects everyone or something. Well I don’t want to make people sick I want to help! So I threw away the “Azithromycin” and forgot about it and told my friend he doesn’t get what I am trying to do.

But I do wan tto reach more people. My sweet reader please suggest to your friends they follow my teachings that I get from meditation and “visiting the green princess***” and help me spread the word of love and health and “one-ness”.  For every comment left on my “blog” I will write a “poem” in return for appreciation. I hope you help me in your taks because I am unemployed and I hope “blogger website.com” can start paying me soon.




*** (This is "code" for "smokeing maryjuana")